"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." Erma Bombeck*
The following is a great little checklist which I highly endorse. I read it (and copied it) from a website and I'd love to give proper credit but I cannot for the life of me, find the site. If you know where this originated, please let me know and I'll gladly add the source and link.
1.Weigh yourself fully clothed after dinner and again the next morning without clothes and before breakfast, because it’s nice to see how much weight you’ve lost overnight!Admittedly, this post is geared more to my lady followers since most men really don't give a rip about weight. Well, some of them do but would never go to these lengths to weigh less. They tend to subscribe to more conventional methods...like exercise or working out. What. Ever.
2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.
3. When weighing, remove everything, including eyeglasses. In this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don’t forget to remove jewelery as it could weigh as much as a pound!
4. Buy only cheap scales, never the medical kind. Accuracy is the enemy and high quality scales are very accurate.
5. Always go to the bathroom first.
6. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for up to half a pound of hair (hopefully).
7. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the scale. (Air has weight, right?)
8. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding onto a towel rod slowly edge your other foot onto the scale while slowly releasing the towel rod. Admittedly, this takes time, but it’s worth it. You will weigh at least two pounds less than if you’d stepped onto the scale normally.
*I truly don't believe that there was a funnier person on the face of the earth than Erma Bombeck. Who agrees with me?
NOTE: I was just trying to remember why I chose this subject for this post and it has just come to me. One day a week or so ago I set the bathroom scale on a rug after I had washed the floor. On impulse I hopped on the scale. I thought, "Oh my gosh, I've lost ten pounds!" Yay! But I didn't like where the scale was so I moved the scale off the rug and onto the ceramic tile floor. Stepped on again...guess what? I was ten pounds heavier.....gah!!
The moral of this is to check where your bathroom scale is sitting....see if it makes a difference.
I miss Erma - a funny, funny lady. I do not like those accurate scales. I swear I weighed ten pounds less on my older, highly inaccurate one. I prefer it. And I love your ending to this post.
ReplyDeleteI keep forgetting to tell you how much I love your blog's revamped look - pretty and peaceful.
Oh, that little cartoon is priceless!
ReplyDeleteI don't where this came from, but I remember having a great little book in the 70's (!) by Totie Fields, the "well-rounded" comediane. The book was called "I Think I'll Start on Monday," and was filled with little weigh-in tidbits like these. I remember a few more - always clean the wax out of your ears, clip your nails and nose hairs, and clean the lint out of your belly button!
I have my own methods too. I always wear the very thinnest clothes possible, including flip flops or Crocs, which weigh NOTHING, and I try to make a deal with the nurse - if she puts down her weight instead of mine, I'll slip her a five!
The one constant I have found about scales, however is that they all LIE. Big time. It's a conspiracy.
My scale is my enemy. Must kill the enemy!
ReplyDeleteErma Bombeck certainly was one of the funniest and sweetest women on the planet. Funny post, this.
ReplyDeleteI miss Erma, too, Teresa. She was just so genuine. Thanks...glad you like the new look!
ReplyDeleteEthelmae, those are great additions to this list! Thanks!
Ramona, I totally agree...it's an enemy, for sure. If I had one lick of good sense, I'd toss it out.
Thanks, Hilary...she was one in a million, wasn't she?
As a perpetually unsuccessful weight watcher, I relate...totally.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Erma was a truly hilarious person.
ReplyDeleteI will try all the hints. I need to figure out how to get that darn scale to make me weigh less - without any real effort on my part, of course.
I have to agree with you Cheryl, Erma was one funny lady! And speaking of that darn scale, I've now buried mine so that I don't weigh myself daily. I find that when I do that my actual weight stays with me and haunts my subconscious mind, which I'm not very good friends with sometimes I might add. My subconscious mind thinks that just because I weigh one pound less than I did the day before I can feast away and way over indulge hence putting back on the pound and then some. Yup, I'm much better off keeping the scale where I can't see it!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious, but I when I weight myself I actually do follow point 1-3.;))
ReplyDeletexoxo
I, too, loved Erma Bombeck. The newspaper here used to print her column in the daily paper - if I never read anything else in the paper, I'd read her column!
ReplyDeleteLove these tips for weighing less. I always weigh myself in the morning before I get dressed. I think I'll give myself a manicure and pedicure this morning before I step on the scale..... :)
Thanks for all the great tips on weighing! I loved Erma too, but what I remember best are her non-humorous writings--like her letters to each of her children, "I loved you the most because..."
ReplyDeleteLinda, we must be related because that's how I feel!
ReplyDeleteJanie, I can vouch for the results if you just follow these guidelines. (-:
Darlin, I should do the same.
Thanks, Zuzana...yes, those steps work very well!
Oooh, Bag lady...will that layer of nail polish tip the scales, do you think?
You're exactly right, Ms. Sparrow. Erma Bombeck was not only funny; she was wise and loving, too.
Thanks for the tip. From now on I will make sure the bathroom scale is on the rug.
ReplyDeleteYou know, Techno, that is not a half bad idea! Thanks for stopping by, my friend.
ReplyDelete